My days are on repeat. My time has become spent doing nothing with my life. I'm here in this standstill that seems it will never budge. I know they,"Say it all changes," but you never hear the part where you have to change it. I'm not surprised, and its not self pity I sink into. Its the feeling of always being a quitter. The burnout that no one remembers. Always being 2nd at best.
Most of the time, whatever light I still have in my head doesn't work. It just all feels dark. I can't cry, I can't be angry, I can't think straight, and I can't be happy.
But sometimes its different, my light glows and I'm happy. I have hope and I'm optimistic. I remember how I should have love for every soul I meet.
But those times don't change the fact that I can't stand people. I don't expect much since I'm usually bound for disappointment. And I push people away who don't deserve it.
Will the light ever burn out? That's the only thing I'm afraid of.

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itsatrip

October 2015

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